names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
