3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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