i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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