Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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