The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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