I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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