their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
