sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
