Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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