yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
