His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
