I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Drunk is not a location!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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