I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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