turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
