i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
