I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
id be glad to
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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