Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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