Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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