My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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