More tranny stories later!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
