i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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