the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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