will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
