ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
