I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
