somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
