Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize