I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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