every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've blown a few things in my day
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
