They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
