I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize