IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
