So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
