whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's official drugs can't kill me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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