Soap is not a condiment
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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