i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
