It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
