Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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