so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
