I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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