remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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