then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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