They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
