The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
