you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
