Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
