why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
