do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
