Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
