Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
