So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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