Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
