My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
