ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
