do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Shame - the story of my life.
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