I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Can Purell be used as lube?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
handjob tips. give me some.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
