Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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