I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
