Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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