Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
