Cold hands, warm shart.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
