My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
