White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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