Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
