when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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