Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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