its not stalking. its research.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
