yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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