Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I came so hard my ears popped.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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