I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
