mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
