Cold hands, warm shart.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
