Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
