Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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