i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
