Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
