The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Couch. On fire.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
